1. |
brilliance
02:16
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brilliance is not a measurement of voltage only
it's what the light reveals,
what the night conceals,
between you & me,
between your bed sheets
as you burst through the dark,
& you light up my heart
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2. |
& just then
04:31
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i dreamt that i saw you in your wedding dress
& out loud i mumbled, 'baby, i could get used to this'
& that woke you up, & you said,
'what was that you said, under your breath, just then?'
& just then, i woke up
with a look in my eyes, i guess they spoke up
because you kissed me real nice, just then
& i want you more & more,
in every minute since i've met you
& i'll bet that you'll call me on that
you'll say that it's just a bluff,
but, baby, guess what
this is true love, it seems,
you're in all my dreams
so, let's surrender to the splendor in the grass
but let's not pretend, dear, that we're past our pasts
but with you with me here & now, let's let this feeling last,
& last, because at last
it's never gone
& it's just on & on
but this song is all wrong
because it's all about someone that i lost
someone that i can't get out of my head
& i now i can't get out of my bed
some days, i'm such a waste
but these mistakes, though they weigh me down
i won't let them send me six feet under ground
i want you to mend me, get me out
but if that's too much to ask, i understand
because it's never gone,
& it's just on & on
& i'm so sorry that i'd never let you in on this trouble,
but i just couldn't admit to this, just then
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3. |
secrets (between us)
03:52
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& i know now, all too well,
that i'll never know you again
the way that i did in that room we rented
once upon a time, like in some lullaby
before the tide of time swept us away
& drowned out our better days
& the secrets bleed between us
& now here we stand in our undertow
wondering just, what did we ever know
was i so blind? & were you so unkind?
& has time resigned me to a more positive you
than i ever really knew?
& has time designed me more negatively for you to see,
perpetually?
but, i bet you've missed me
& the secrets bleed between us
but how could you see how much you meant to me,
when you never really ever saw me?
& i'm sorry that i couldn't be what you could have seen,
& that i couldn't see what you needed from me
& the secrets bleed between us
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4. |
once (we meant it)
03:28
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once i made a promise to you,
but i let it slip, & you forgot yours, too
i guess that's what happens when love isn't true
& once i though i'd made it up to you,
i said, 'darlin', i promise through & through--'
but you stopped me short, & you said,
'i've got one for you: once i told a secret to you,
it was a part of me that i wanted to prove,
& i wanted to prove it especially for you,
but once you took that secret in,
i guess you realized that i meant this big
& you packed your bags up, & you split'
but i said, 'no, you see, i feel differently...'
& that's when we fell into never coming back
once we fought all night,
once we lost our minds,
& once we stopped, you resigned
you said you said 'unfortunately, we're just not meant to be
& i'm so sorry, baby
but i just can't bear to be the one you hinge your hopes on,
please, understand that i just can't'
& i said 'i understand,
& i know it takes a big man to know when to fold his hand
& though i stand six foot two,
you know i never really knew when to say,
okay, i'll walk away
because once you made a promise to me,
& once i made a promise to you & once upon a time we meant this, through & through
& i want to feel, just how ever after feels
& i want to feel it with you'
but you said, 'enough is enough
now your guilt, it weighs a ton, & i am just not that tough'
& once i can let this go, i suppose i'll finally know
what it really was, to love you
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5. |
these crimes
04:32
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i piled up my alibis & got away with these crimes,
here in the dark, committing crimes of the heart
i gave you up for this temporary bliss,
oh, what ignorance
so put it all upon me, i'll take the blame eternally
i'll carry this weight forever, you'll see,
i won't shrug & i won't breathe
another word in my defense, because my crimes
they're defenseless, i know,
i know, i know
my kingdom for forgiveness, but can you ever forget this?
i don't know, i don't know, she says
but you had your indiscretions, too,
you had your slip ups & mysteries,
& this is why i'll never see you again,
despite my relentless repentance,
because i can't keep my mouth shut, no,
i can't help but to open up this pandora's box called 'us'
it's filled with excuses, it's filled with lies,
it's filled to the brim with alibis,
all for these crimes, these crimes
oh, they're yours & they're mine
my kingdom for forgiveness, but can you ever forget this?
i don't know, i don't know, she says
our kingdom for forgiveness, but would we ever forget this?
& i know just how this ends
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6. |
ash away
05:16
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so here bend, yeah we relent
& as we break i make a desperate mistake:
i invite you in, pour us a drink
& then i let you in on just what i think:
how once i thought i saw in you, somethin' beautiful,
pure & true,
but now i know, i know, that in letting us go,
i can't throw your memory far enough away,
God, i pushed you away
but she'd sing, so sweetly, to me between the bedsheets
& we fell, so deeply, knowing full well what this might mean
so, look deeper, deeper now
& buried deep beneath my smile lines, my furrowed brow,
there's a champion of nothing & a phantom of something
once wonderful, once wonderful,
just dyin' to know for sure, that you sure,
& you didn't need to know me anymore
but i win, so bitterly, 'cause i said what i didn't mean
that i don't need to see you,
but truly it's because you're burned deep into me,
you're burned so deep into me
so, ash away, ash away, please,
ash away, away
as a memory, have you held onto me, in the least?
or as a remedy, did you cast me out into the sea?
from the same hotel suite,
where we achieved a living reverie,
i live in reverie now, mostly
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7. |
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there was a truth that i thought i knew,
about you,
but it turned out to be a case of mistaken identity
& i'm tryin' to get back to the you that i thought that i knew
so i thought that i might achieve a better sense of you & me
if i could make sense of who you were & not just
who you seemed to be, but then,
you said that you never wanted to see me again
& again that's just more evidence against who i thought that you might be,
& what you might mean to me
but still, i went away for a while
& i put all my demons on trial
& i thought maybe finally i'd reconciled the denial i'd been in
about the state of things un-mended between you & me,
but between you & me:
i can't put us to bed & i can't get you out of my head
who are you, really?
who was that i had in my bed & who is this that i've got in my head?
who are you, really?
now i hope someday to see you again,
as i once saw you, my friend,
i hope to God, i hope to God, i hope God
that you will come true
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8. |
echo
03:46
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goddamn, i feel i am
some kind of son of sam
waiting & baiting you here, with my ill will,
now i'm gonna spill my guts
& the blood is on your hands, but you put up your hands,
you said, there's no need to explain, now i feel your pain
because it's my pain, too
i'm addicted to you, i'm addicted, too
is there an echo in here?
can't you let go, my dear, let go, my dear
here comes the sun,
here comes the only one
who can save us tonight
save us with your light
i said it's killing me to be killing you,
so will you please let loose that voodoo noose,
& i will undo mine
because it's about damn time we found the time
to come clean
let's mop up our misery, get down on your knees,
with me, with me
oh no, you look so good
down here on your knees, oh please, please me
fight back, moon
don't let the sun come too soon
because we don't want to be saved
no, we'd rather misbehave
once we were full of love,
but now that love's become, it's become a drug
& we can't get enough
we can't get enough of enough
it's enough
is enough enough?
enough, i know
we'll never get away
because there is no escape
from this devilishly heavenly embrace
& the shape that our bodies make
we don't want to be saved
no, we'd rather misbehave
i need to let go, i need to let go, i know
is there an echo in here?
can't you let go, my dear, let go, my dear
is there an echo in here?
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9. |
grace
03:37
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she paints the sky with her eyes closed,
& dreams of things that she's never known
dancing to her own drum,
she's gotta believe she won't come undone
& she's stronger than me, because she still believes
& keeps a smile to cover up her trials,
then she sees through me
& somehow gifts serenity
she's peace, she's grace
& she's got the loveliest face
she's dreaming wide awake
& i'm falling, i'm falling in
& she spoke of love so loud, sometimes without a sound,
she always got it right, with the laughter in her eyes
she's peace, she's grace
& she's got the loveliest face
she's dreaming wide awake
& i'm falling, i'm falling in
she paints the sky with her eyes closed,
& dreams of things that she's meant to know
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10. |
clementine
03:35
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oh my darlin' clementine, won't you be my valentine?
won't you say you'll be mine, all mine,
don't let me lose my mind,
don't say your heart is otherwise obliged,
oh my darlin' clementine
let me steal you away, let me feel your embrace
let me let you in
because i want to be your pick me up,
i want to be the one you trust
& i want to give you all my love,
oh it's all for you
now you mean so much to me,
you've saved me from my misery,
so let me return the favor please
if things get too hard & if the dark is as dark as before dawn,
you know my love will stretch on & on
& i'll cover you up with a hug, loose enough to let you go
but tight enough to let you know
that you'll always have a place in my heart,
because you've been there, girl, from the start
yeah, you're what started my heart
& here's how i know:
because when you meet your true love,
you know your heart it opens up
& it fills you with a knowing rush
but i haven't met you yet, no up 'til now i've just been spoonfed
that these are the feelings that you get
but i promise you this, my future mystery mrs.
i'm gonna do my best to make these words come true
because all these words, they're meant for you
& i will mean them through & through,
& i can't wait until i meet you
so, until i meet you...
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zach chase Syracuse, New York
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