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V. this relentless disenchantment (demo verison)

by zach chase

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1.
this relentless disenchantment 04:00
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i was a dreamer, i was a believer & i had things i meant to do but i spent my mind's last dime on killing time with you & i don't regret anything, save the things i've left unsaid, stuck in my head most of them meant for you now this relentless disenchantment has got me stuck in my bed my ambition is the living undead travelling just in my head, i've got nothing left to spend you were a color undiscovered: brand new, you burst true you were always gorgeous, & you were always going away now i'm never courageous enough to stay, only ever engaged in reverie i'm reaching for the season when i can reap what i sow you were a color undiscovered brand new, burst true your fortune smile stretching miles & miles & now you're far, too far away but you know me, & i'll wait
2.
my fate & my fade 05:24
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3.
sense relents 09:41
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there's no giving up, there's just giving in & there's less in outer space than the deepness within so look forward, look backward, & look all around because the best parts of life are all the parts that you can't quite take in because they took your breath away, away take me away, away, away from this haze, this place so i guess outer space exists as you need it to, like it holds all the truth that you wish that you knew, & i guess all the best parts are best when taken in with the breath that was taken away, away take me away, away, away from this haze, this place i'll talk through the tough & i'll walk away from your love i'll make sure you won't want me back, not ever again this doesn't make sense, will it ever relent? you're so ugly, pretty & you're heaven sent but not meant to be anything more than a clog in my pores, one that i can't force out of my head or my heart, get out of my head you're my heart this doesn't make sense, does it ever relent? decay & delay in this romantic mystery a big philosophy & a twig in the middle of the sea there's more to map underneath & to see under siege of your knee & your sleeve that's concealing your elbow's folds from me as you fold underneath the weight of our love, you mold into me as the shape of a drug that i can't down without a happy frown, that overwhelming emotion motion that crashes like the thunder of a hundred oceans & i sway & i swoon & i wish on the moon that this feeling won't fade & you won't ever want to trade what we got, no not even for a pot of gold but a lot of this truth wasn't ours to hold this doesn't make sense, does it ever relent? decay & delay in this romantic mystery this won't make sense, & i hope it won't relent
4.
all the places that we were 06:13
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underneath my hair & skin there's a storage facility it's among all the parts & machinery of my body & among all this pysical scenery i'm lost in what's left of you, i am lost memories like polaroids are scattered about inside of me & in this collage of loss, i'm lost all the places that we were are all the places that i am i am becoming the nothing that i feel but it's something more than i would like to admit is real & the endings are never ending this is the place that i always end up & i wish that i would forget, for once but it's so vague & yet it's always the same a one trick pony but i can not ride this into forever maybe one day i might never remember but it's so vague & ye it's always the same & regrets have been filling up in me while i'm left with this empty stomach feeling & the endings are never ending
5.
scenery (the other side) 01:28
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i want a change of scenery, i want a new tradition: something new & something strange, something to keep me guessing i want a change of scenery, i want a new tradition: i want to see the other side of my imagination
6.
the cave (in your eyes) 05:18
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i used to find a cave in your eyes somewhere to mine, somewhere worth climbing deep, deep down all the way to the bottom of your everything, of your everything, you meant everything yeah, all that you were, i always wanted to find all i could unearth, all your unworldly dirt the you that i had to pursue the beauty, the truth of the real you don’t mind the gap, you said under your breath, don’t mind my lapse in depth you said after the fact, with your actions, & i guess i guessed all wrong about you & now i think if you weren’t worth it & if i’ve spent all that time & this time, too on what might have been between me & you, intending to bend the rules, in the relentless pursuit of truth, the truth of who knew who, then i guess that i wasn’t worth it either & i blew all the time in between & in the aftermath equating you to substantiation, as the manifestation of my wildest imagination don’t mind the gap, you said under your breath don’t mind my lapse in depth you said after the fact, with your actions, & i guess i guessed all wrong about you but you said, it's in your eyes & it's no surprise, it's in your eyes & it's no surprises, all these lies
7.
if this is it 02:47
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i'll whistle this tune & dedicate it to you, just because you won't know how i miss you, now & then, when i can remember the good in you, that only i ever knew & if that is all you think of me, she said, i hope that you don't ever think of me & just let me go, please just let me go now do you miss kissing me like i miss missing you & do you wish that pissin' me off wasn't so easy to do, like i do, for your sake, less than mine all those worthless, hurtful times & if that is all you think of me, i hope that you don't ever think of me & just let me go, please just let me go now
8.
worth it 03:41
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remember those november nights, freezing cold & feeling bold enough to admit my interest in you, to you, & to offer you my warmth remember those december days, freezing cold & feeling bold enough to admit my regret to you, & to offer you the door, because i can't give & i can't take anymore did you wish away the pain, or did you even mention my name up to your shooting stars? or wasn't i worth their fall? i made a point to move on, but the grass it just grew long & the past, it re-occured in every single song & i knew that i might be wrong in thinking that i could belong in the future without a secure suture on these wounds, from me to you, all these wounds that i gave you but did you wish away the pain, or did you even mention my name up to your shooting stars? or wasn't i worth their fall? i made a point to move on, but as the past re-occurred in every song, i knew that i was wrong, & i'm sorry that i ever lead you on
9.
& as you echo, i sing along (into the empty rafters) 04:12
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this song is tired & it's just as old as you & me how i wish we were aging more gracefully cuz i remember your dreams & you remember my seams & we burst through both note after note & in the morning after all these songs you sang to me as i sat in the empty rafters they echo & i sing along i sing the ooo's & the aahh's for you the la la la lala la da dee das the na na na nana na nanahs for you & if i have nothing else to say it's cuz i've felt nothing else since you have been away just singing my sappy songs about some long gone wrongs & the harmpnies haunt me on & on i sing the ooo's & the aahh's for you the la la la lala la da dee das the na na na nana na nanahs for you i'll give you an oh yeah for you, i'll sing
10.
the old world (in reverie) 05:03
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i wrote a letter & sent it out towards the old world, then watched as it floated to that long gone girl it was fueled by the fire in my heart, it's been burning since i spied her sky blue eyes they burned right through me, & ain't that the way that love is supposed to be? so, i told her all about what i'd been thinkin', how i miss our talks & her company, & i thought maybe we could start writing some letters, we could build this friendship up better & better, open up on more than just the weather, & have fun, spend everyday kinda together but she said, 'i'm no good with these things, & i'll just hurt you, but you should know, that though i'm no good with these things, i was so good for you, & we had something so true... but you already knew that, didn't you? so why didn't you...' so, just come back to me in real time don't leave me lost in reverie oh, just come back to me & this time let's get lost & discover you & me & we'll be lost in love, you'll see, oh, you'll see, won't you come back to me?
11.
someday 04:19
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here's to the next part of your life it's the best part of tonight so celebrate & go your way but hold on to our memories here's to the good byes & good cries & to that bit of pain that will remain but little darlin don't you be afraid cuz this will fade & you will change but i will keep you in my heart & here's to what you've meant to me god, we were somethin' to see & though this may fade & i may change i will keep you in my heart & you can call me anytime & i will write you, if you don't mind & little darlin we will be just fine though this may fade & we may change we'll still have our memories & our memories, oh they will lead me back to you no matter what they all say we will meet again, baby, someday though this may fade & we may change we will always have our someday & we will meet again, someday so here's to what you've meant to me god, we were somethin' to see oh, weren't we?

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released January 1, 2011

all words & music (written, performed, & recorded) by zach chase, copyright 2011.

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