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IX. as near as now (demo version)

by zach chase

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1.
first to last 04:03
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the sound of rushing water, the scent of autumn nights all things must pass city skylines, bonfire nights conversations & aspirations all thing must pass indifferent stars above rising waves & falling in love all things must pass the patience in her eyes the way she smiles then sighs like a candle & a ship she dances with the wind the feeling of her skin sensations, beginnings like a sunset & a myth her belief is everything the sound of rushing water, the scent of autumn nights all things must pass but maybe we could be the first to last
2.
oh, maria 04:02
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i dream in technicolor, memories from a future we have yet to see we're holding hands on the thornden park seats feel the grass & the stones beneath our friends all laugh & say, 'what took you so long?' & in your eyes the sun sets at dawn oh, maria when you awake from your dreams oh, maria do you remember me? i walked in wonder to find you in queens we spent the whole night reminiscing remember prom night, camping by the sea wichita & car ride karaoke skipping stones on southwick beach midnight SU hide & seek oh, maria when you sleep & dream oh, maria do you look for me? i wanna say the things i never said still got your pencil sharpened down to lead you're the reason for the rain & the songs every drought comes when you're not in my thoughts sunflower smiles & strawberry hair, your honey eyes are so sweet oh, maria won't you marry me? oh, maria we'll live in reverie oh, maria... sunflower smiles & strawberry hair, your honey eyes are so sweet
3.
your hand in mine 04:31
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we're sailing now on a sea of clouds we see ourselves as something else diving down too deep to be found the air runs out & we breathe in sounds & i hear you now when i sing out loud i hear you now when i sing out loud your harmonies echo back to me i hear you now when i sing out loud we're driving around in this empty town with the windows down we float on the ground your hand in mine my mind rewinds back to tonight & i wake up blind but i see you now when i dream out loud i see you now when i dream out loud your honey eyes glow like sunlight i see you now when i sing out loud you're as near as now & there's no one else your hand in mine we bend the light we're driving around in this empty town with the windows down we float on the ground & i feel you now yeah, you're all around i feel you now yeah, you're all around in the rain & wind & in the sun shining i feel you now yeah you're all around you're as near as now & there's no one else your hand in mine we bend the light we're sailing now on a sea of clouds your hand in mine we float through time
4.
drifting 01:15
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drifting; as near as now
5.
summer leaves 02:33
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we sat & watched the summer leave under the fading shade of a tree walked down to put our feet in the stream & then she turned to say to me: 'i'll remember everything that we've seen & all the places we've ever been but like the season's changing leaves i feel the feeling leaving me & before it all but disappears there's something that i need you to hear: i'll love you for all of time but i just don't have the time to give you all of me so please, baby, just let me leave in this moment of perfect peace & in your memory we'll be happy forever after in reverie remember me, the stream & the tree & everything that we've ever seen & all the paces we've ever been & maybe someday in another life we'll find each other for all of time' then we sat & watched the summer leave under the fading shade of our tree la da da da de da...
6.
gemini/genius/queen 04:58
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you were born in the month of may i think your birthday should be a holiday a gemini with hazel eyes & a smile your very own style a coffee shop & the common council two perfect girls that you're so proud of you're a genius & you love peaches you once told me the sweetest secret your voice is in full bloom so many ideas & things to do & on a cold night in a bar in march time stopped & my new life started when i saw you from across the room i was paralyzed but compelled to move it was then & there that i knew you were made for me & i for you we took a walk in new york city saw lovely things but nothing as pretty as you, oh you no, there's nothing as pretty as you now ten years & two months on i wrote you this song, because we share the truth like we share the moon they both rhyme with 'i love you' so when the distance begins to blister don't forget i keep you like a secret & look up in the sky at night focus your mind on the moonlight & i'll be looking up there, too & we'll find our way to someday soon you were born in the month of may i think your birthday should be a holiday a gemini with hazel eyes & a smile your very own style a coffee shop & the common council two perfect girls that you're so proud of you're a genius & you love peaches you once told me the sweetest secret your voice is in full bloom so many ideas & things to do now ten years 7 two months on, baby i wrote you this song, because we share the truth like we share the moon they both rhyme with 'i love you' so when the distance begins to blister don't forget i keep you like a secret & look up in the sky at night focus your mind on the moonlight & i'll be looking up there, too & we'll find our way to someday soon though our lives run on different paths we've got a number, it's a perfect match & i know you know what i mean my gemini, genius queen
7.
the color of a dying leaf 04:40
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the color of a dying leaf & the sun shining between the trees as every, every minute's passing i think of all the things you asked me & answers i was once so sure of become questions now that seem unheard of can we realize all we are, dear? tell me everything & hold me near the color of a dying leaf, & the sun shining between the trees as every, every minute's passing i focus on the feelings crashing love & loss & crying, laughing the never-ending's everlasting can we realize all we are, dear? tell me everything & hold me near i could feel forever here in your arms outside of ourselves drifting in the dark the color of a dying leaf, & the sun shining between the trees as the wind arrives you open your eyes as the stars collide you light up inside a thousand years of ever after novels lost in a sea of chapters evaporating memories reach out & hold on to the steam the color of a dying leaf, & the sun shining between the trees an we realize all we are, dear? tell me everything & hold me near i could feel forever here in your arms outside of ourselves drifting in the dark the color of a dying leaf, & the sun shining between the trees as the tide comes in you breathe out, then in as the song is sung our hearts beat as one a thousand years of ever afters novels lost in a sea of chapters evaporating memories reach out & hold on to the steam the color of a dying leaf, & the sun shining between the trees can we realize all we are, dear? tell me everything & hold me near i can feel forever here in your arms no other ever after made it this far
8.
falling away 00:35
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falling... away
9.
autumns & afternoons 03:52
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whiskey & cigarettes regrets & bated breaths as i pour & i drag whispers from my past back then is here & now keep my head in the clouds with cracked lips & clipper ships & disenchanted sentiments autumns & afternoons all good things end too son i live in the lost & found sifting sad memories out til i convince myself i did things the right way & i made no mistakes that nervous breakdown cleared out the whole town nobody's here now not even myself autumns & afternoons all good things end too soon
10.
why 03:32
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& she said, hold me now like you held me when you told me how this would never end this could never end if you tell me right now what you're feeling deep down just let it out, & let me in i will give as you give & our live will live on, our love will live if you hold me now like you held me when you told me how this would never end but when it mattered most i shattered like bones thrown against the throes under an undertow, oh why, oh why couldn't i come alive? why, oh why did i let it die? why, oh why
11.
paint the wall with good intentions 01:51
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i'm sun drenched in a silhouette i paint the wall with the back of my head i'm wasted i'm waiitng for a feeling other than this emptiness i'm sinking in all the things i never said & all those mistakes i never meant to make over & over again it's over over & over again so i paint the wall with the back of my broken head cuz all i've got left are memories of my good intentions all my good intentions
12.
hey, i miss you 04:20
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i feel so far away from the headspace where i felt safe in a city by the sea i drift between memories & i miss everyone i love & i love everyone so much so if you remember me even in passing, don't let it pass, please 'cuz the saddest thing that i can think of is to think of someone & too feel a rush of love but let it fade without saying, 'hey... you set my heart ablaze you made me laugh in a different way you showed me some headspace where i felt safe you made me brave & you let me cry you didn't ask me why you just let me cry while we'd drive' so when i feel i'm falling away from the headspace where i am safe i think of you, & you yeah, i think of you, & you & i remember being loved as i loved, & that's enough for me to say, 'hey... hey... hey... i thought of you today, & i just wanna say, hey... i miss you...'

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released May 27, 2022

all words & music (written, performed, & recorded) by zach chase, copyright 2021.

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