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III. underneath your crossed out words, & underneath your breath (demo version)

by zach chase

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1.
in the rain we're watching our feet find their way & you say, 'follow me' promises we only ever made been disappearing from our heads, lately like the rain slowly fades away from the streets into the atmosphere what hasn't lasted it's in the past & what's here & now will too soon be then, too & so let's make our escape, dear into our ever after she's smiling, she's sighing, she's lighting up dividing the colliding clouds above & i wonder are we under a sky that was painted just for us what hasn't lasted it's in the past & what's here & now will too soon be then, too & so let's make our escape, dear into our ever after
2.
the scene is set & the choreography is unfulfilling, it’s repeating history, & i’m retreating to the future, unwillingly i’m focusing on you, but you’re fading this has been happening a lot lately & now the balcony has emptied & the lights have all burned out the weathervane is missing & i’m waiting to begin again & if we could forgo the formalities, we could move on with an uncomfortable ease i’m focusing on you, but you’re fading this has been happening too much lately hello, i’m waiting for you to come back into view, but my eyes are blurring up with the motions as time is bringing me up to speed while the records turn, the records turn a soundtrack for burning i could take what you left behind & bring it back to you, you made a wish with your eyes closed so tight, but the stars aren’t listening tonight so let me, please, let me understand hello, i’m waiting for you to come back into view, but my eyes are blurring up with the motions as time is bringing me up to speed while the records turn, & the records turn a soundtrack for burning hello, i'm waiting for you to come back into view
3.
tell me now what you've been feeling lately later on, when the world is gone & these basement walls become our parthenon & it's just you & me, a pull out couch & a box tv too tired to be conscious too wired to be thoughtless every night we trade our minds fall asleep to the sunrise & there used to be these summers where every day was a mystery where anything could ever be but it feels so long ago now that there used to be so much time too tired to be conscious too wired to be thoughtless every night we trade our minds fall asleep to the sunrise & all at once, you're gone & it's on & on second guess how to catch my breath as we fast forward through the present tense & all that's left now to do is remember when we were too tired to be conscious too wired to be thoughtless every night we trade our minds fall asleep to the sunrise & all at once, you're gone & it's on & on i will keep you in my rear view so that you're closer than you might appear second guess how to catch my breath do you remember when these basement walls were our parthenon
4.
i cringe into a paper crane, sublime describes the feeling less than best, but that's always the best that i could ever do for you throw the blame away, but it's a boomerang the notes you sang are like the notes i find at night when i just might, oh, i just fight tonight cringe into a paper crane i wish that i could be your boomerang second drawer secrets are unlocked tragic poetry's stocked up like it's stock i can't afford to forget anymore & i cringe into a paper crane i wish that i could be your boomerang you're awkward & perfect with just enough of neither & i just want to stop the world curl up & hide inside your arms with eleven digits we'll connect the dots & we'll make our plan for a getaway i hate to need to getaway, but we just to getaway because, where no one will find us, no one will mind us & i cringe into a paper crane i just want to be your boomerang
5.
i took a walk, to get away, to someplace further from yesterday & all the stupid things i thought i had to say to all the lovers that i've pushed away & all the while, all i see is your shimmering smile the one that stole the scene of my precious misery the one that was in my dreams before we would even meet & i'm wandering, all around while i'm wondering, all about the clouds & the underground sound & how i'm missing the here & now how could i miss you before now oh my god, you're right here, right now & all of a sudden i feel my heart rushing & all of a sudden i am searching for something memorable to say before you walk away but all of a sudden, i've got nothing but this love song humming in my mind hey don't you love 'time after time' ? now polka dots are swirling in my head as i say something less than what i meant but you're looking through me & i'm getting more into you i'm getting more & more into you time is a dead mans alibi for tasting the seasons & making a frame to put our picture in between do you know what i mean, i say & you say i know exactly what you mean & all of a sudden i feel my heart rushing & all of a sudden our hands are touching then you lean in, as i lean in & with our eyes closed we feel our smiles & all of a sudden the whole world is humming & all of a sudden i am certain of something it's been a long time since i knew that i wanted to know somebody the way that i could understand you the way that i would understand you the way that i just understand you
6.
i was a wiser man when i knew you less, & i've died a thousand times about that dress for words to mean as much as i mean i need to conceive a new language to speak but lucky for me you know what i mean la da da dee your eyes, & your mind are both so kind thank you for my brand new life spin me around in your new dress spin us around in your westcott dress
7.
we're riding the exploding sidewalk, the trees are trying to run away, you say but roots are stronger than intentions, sometimes, & sometimes you just want to stay you hold my hand unconventionally, but that’s so like you, you bring a silence that's so loud & so lovely, just like you, but there’s nothing like you that purple cashmere is perfect for an autumn day when we’re listening to ‘grey’ & i can’t wait to see you wear it so well, like you wear me, oh, you wear me out you keep my head in the clouds but now without a frown to be found you turn my lips upside down & you make the rain come up from underneath the ground everything is backwards & better than yesterday & every tomorrow with you is my favourite day you're a midnight sun & a midday moon you're all of my dreams somehow coming true & i just wanna drive away & listen to ani all day what do you say? let's drive away & listen to ani all day
8.
toronto 01:40
we drove to toronto to see the death cab show you told me you didn't know if you'd ever wanna go home, again & i said, yeah i understand we could stay right here on this lovely little island in the park we can sell the car we'll sleep under the stars & we will never be far from where we are ourselves we are ourselves & there is no one else who knows me like you know me now we drove home from toronto & we sang along to all of our favourite songs & you held my hand & you did a little dance & i can't stand how fucking cute you are la da da de da dada & toronto is never too far...
9.
you're gliding underneath the city that never sleeps & as you come up from the dark right back into the dark you say your inspiration has gone away dreaming while you lay wide awake waiting to believe again & all that i can do is say i know you'll be okay you're stronger than you know & i know you'll figure out a way to make the best of this & these are all platitudes but they're true & i wish i wasn't so helpless & so far away from you but i know that we'll be home soon & i know, i've always known that my home is you & i love to think of you striding with that sexy confidence through union square wearing your favourite pink laced underwear under your favourite dress & your hair is a perfect mess but for your sparkling purple clip goddamn you're glowing don't you know it now i imagine your fingers finding my palm & we're taking a nap i always sleep easier with you next to me you can push me away it's okay but please don't forget to bring me back cause i understand & i will always come back & i know that we'll be home soon & i know, i've always known that my home is you a secret letter that you left for me to find in my middle drawer with purple words from your purple heart dated nine days ago but it's never old news to me cause i swear i wear my heart on my sleeve for you & everyone to see so close your eyes in brooklyn tonight cause i'm walking proud with you next to me you're always with me wherever i go & i know that we'll be home soon & i know, i've always known that my home is you & these aren't just words, these are promises & i love that look in your eyes when they're inside mine
10.
slow down 05:52
underneath your crossed out words, & underneath your breath live all the things you wish you would have said all the things you wish you could have said & i thought that i said all i should but i thought i should tell you that i was wrong she calls me up to call it off but we talk enough to recall our love & though we remain, we know it's not the same & we're just delaying the pain of saying that the changes that we have made as people apart have pulled us apart & now we're too far from where we are supposed to be, but i hope that we can slow down, & remember it's you & me she can't see the stars & so she counts the cars driving away, driving away & she underscores the circumstance witha revolution, a simple dance as all the noise from the city streets combines harmony with cacophony she knows that there's just no a way for us to fix what this distance ripped slow down & remember it's you & me she can't see the stars & so she counts the cars driving away, driving away & she underscores the circumstance with a revolution, a simple dance
11.
everything 04:13
i wake up, & make up my mind, to be the one that you wanted to find i wake up, & make up my mind to the the one that you needed to find cuz you take in the time that i let pass me by & you hold me tight to quiet my mind so here is my deepest truth the root of the sweetest proof we're for each other like the sun & the summer: i would do anything, including everything, to help you be sure of yourself & your gorgeous soul & when i sing you a song i wrote for you you sing along & you sing it so perfectly wrong & i know that you know the words but this is a brand new verse one that i'm sure that you haven't rehearsed & you're singing behind the beat in perfect harmony how do you know how to get to this part of me i was on my way then you met me halfway now here we are walking into a new day where everything is just like we sing & i would do anything, including everything, to help you be sure of yourself & your gorgeous soul but sometimes you say some things that hurt me so deeply & sometimes i say some things that i wish i never had & then we are fighting, then we are lying, then we are dying, & then we aren't finding everything we wanted to sing for everything we thought we were meant for & i would do anything, including everything, to somehow get back to the way that we were before before before is gone...
12.
you look away, you look that way & then you look this way & i forget just what i meant to come over here to say i forget everything except for you now backs at yours, we're on the floor with a scene from 'much ado...' memorizing lines as i am mesmerized by you & all the plans that i ever had they fall away as i fall for you & i don't know where to go now, but i don't care as you say we'll figure that out together in the morning, this is surely our fate forming & i could have sworn i saw snowstorms coming but your kiss brings in the sweetest heat & february has never been so warm here in the northeast through march & april, our hearts are insatiable in may & june our love is in bloom & by july, we're singing 'summer nights' while august just offers the line about the cold & how it ends but this isn't a movie, she says a tired day & a thunderstorm night & somehow this southern drive is flying by while in our minds we rehearse our goodbyes before we even arrive & then i say, can't we delay, & spend just one more night? cuz i don't know how to let you go now & you say i know but we'll figure that out together in the backseat gimme one more taste of your sweet heat & i could have sworn we were frozen in this moment but then reality speaks & the mystery of letting go of who you love deepens & so we take the exit to the house of your youth & in your bed, i am in my head in a little motel, hiding from the end although we knew that this day would come we didn't plan on this kind of love like gravity, you fell into me & now i can't see how we can leave all we could be behind but time decides & overrides & softly the sun is rising in the east & you hold me tight as if i could leave but more than the light is dawning on me & i know that you need me to be strong enough to be the one to say goodbye, & so i'll try... my heart is made of gold, you say but gold is just a stone, i say & it sinks, yeah it sinks i thought i was strong enough, but i’m always so wrong about stuff now i’m full of reasons to avoid filling the void & i’m a little bit, yeah i’m a little bit, full of quit

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released January 1, 2008

all words & music (written, performed, & recorded) by zach chase, copyright 2008/2009.

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